Who Is Learning?

My son is learning. He is learning slowly, but he does learn.   I am learning too.  I am learning who Robert is and  how to teach him.  I am learning in a slower pace  than Robert does, but I do learn.

My son’s educators from his public school don’t learn.

Year after year, they don’t learn.

They came to the position of my son’s teachers without proper preparation.  They don’t know my son.  They don’t know what my son knows.  They don’t know what he doesn’t know. They don’t even know how to find out what he knows or he doesn’t know.

They neglect my son with the consent of the school administrators.

Today I received the progress report written by his teacher.

From this progress I deduced two things:

1.  That my son cannot learn anything in this classroom. He looses what he learned before.

2.That his teachers cannot teach him, because they don’t know who he is or how to teach him.

It is all my fault. Every year, for three out of four last years I fought for my son’s right to education.

I fought to remove him from the teacher who was placing Robert in a separate desk with a packets of word searches puzzles. Day after day.  She refused to teach him.  She caused him to be in constant distress.  She was, willingly or not, destroying him.

Another year I fought for my son’s right to free and appropriate education.  Any education.  I tried to force the teacher to teach my son.  I fought with the teacher and very influential teacher’s aide.  They considered teaching to be illegal in this classroom.

Each of those years, my son lost six months of the  school year.  But I won for him at least three months of decent  teaching.

Each year, I ended up exhausted.  I couldn’t make up for the lost time.  My health was deteriorating.

This year, I gave up the fight in December.  I couldn’t force the school to teach my son.  I gave up and my son lost the whole year. Because of me.

It was too hard.  Just too hard.  I couldn’t cut  through the web of lies.  I couldn’t change anything. Even if I won concessions from school in regards to IEP, the IEP was not followed . The school is  unaccountable for my son’s progress. I fought before.  I tried to get help from the principal, special ed director, superintendent, school committee, SEPAC, Program Quality Assurance at Department of Education, Commissionaire Chester, Hearing Officers from BSEA.  The best I got was the three months of a relatively decent teaching out of the whole school year . The price was exhaustion, prolonged stress and deteriorating health.

It is almost the end of the school year.    Trying to preserve myself I abandoned my son.  I couldn’t negotiate anymore with the Public School District. I have a Stockholm Syndrome already.  Even a thought  of attending a meeting with the school turns my stomach upside down. I cannot face concentrated manipulations, which look like a prearranged conspiracy to defraud my son of education. I don’t know how to defend my son. I am humiliated by other people’s lack of knowledge.   I am offended  as a person with disability, as a mother of a powerless boy, as a former teacher, and as a  human being.  I am hysterical.  I gave up and my son lost the whole year.

For those who look at this pages to get some suggestions about teaching, I do apologize for this emotional outburst.  But this is a part (a missing part) of Robert’s education and life. Thus it should not be censored.

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