Home, Home, and Home Again

On Monday morning and again on Saturday evening, Robert asked for home. “Home, home.”He said during long ride to our appointment in Boston.  He was anxious and kept  repeating, “Home, home”, as a demand (I would rather go home.) and as a question, “When will we go home?” I kept reassuring him that we would return home after we talk to somebody in Boston.

“Home, home (?)”

“First we go to Boston and  talk to someone.  Then we will go home.”

“Home, home?”

“First we go to Boston and talk to someone.  After that  we will go home.”

“Home, home.”

“What about home?”


“You right.  First Boston, then home.

I don’t remember Robert asking for home, when he was in our family car, even hundreds miles away from home. He did not ask for home in the airplane. He did not ask for home in New York City buses, subways, or cabs. Robert was anxious as if he felt that this trip was more than a simple travel to Boston and back. It signified change, a step into adulthood, and whatever that might bring.

Restless and confused, he asked for home as a reassurance that things would return to normal, to predictability, and to safety.

On Saturday evening, in the apartment of his grandmother, he asked again, “Home”. Just like that, one word. When Robert uses  one word it means that he thought carefully about his request because it was an important one. It was unusual, Asking for home while at his grandmother’s apartment and expressing his wish with just one word.  When Robert visits his grandmother in New York, he asks for many things, for Metropolitan or Natural History Museums for Central or Hudson River Parks, for a Broadway or off Broadway Show (preferably Cirque du Soleil),  or  for a restaurant.  He has never asked for home. Last Saturday night, he said, “Home.”

“We will go home tomorrow.”

Robert accepted this answer and returned to bed.  Two more times we repeated that conversation before he fell asleep.  On Sunday morning, it became clear that Robert was sick.

“Home”, he said at eight in the morning.

“Yes, we will pack and go home in an hour”.

Reassured, Robert returned to bed and… slept until noon.

We left around one.  I put pillow on the back seat of the car.  Robert was apprehensive at first since the pillows should stay in the trunk and not on the back seat inside the car, but he put his head on them and fell asleep.  He did not want to eat, he hardly drink anything.

He was hot, tired, and mellow.

He was sick for the next three days, but he did not complain.  He was, after all, HOME.

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1 Comment

  1. Jean

     /  August 24, 2013

    Asking for Home was likely his way of expressing discomfort and wanting to return to the “comfort” of Home.


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