First Week of Adulthood

March 6, 2014
Robert had his 22nd birthday this Sunday. Now he is home. He still doesn’t have a program. How did this happen? It is a very long story, I am not ready to analyze yet. I know that he needs to be with other people. This week he is with me.
On Monday, he had a ski lesson at NEHSA. Angela, knowing his predicament arranged for this lesson almost in the last minute. When we arrived, three volunteers waited for him. To teach him slowing down and taking turns they played tag on the slopes, so Robert had to go from one person to another. On the way home, we stopped at Merrimack to pick up his father and eat dinner at the Food Court.
On Tuesday, we had a visit from an agency and Robert was showing off. He vacuumed a rug in the living room, cooked chicken tenders, put away one basket of laundry, demonstrated how to fold shirts using folding board, and did some shopping at Stop And Shop Supermarket paying at self register. He needed help only with finding eggplant on the screen. That required alphabet skills, we have been practicing lately. After we got home, he took care of putting all the food away. He took a short nap and soon was ready for a cooking class. As always he was active in doing things but not in eating. The most importantly he seemed to be very happy to be with the same group of his peers.
On Wednesday, I planned to go with him to the State House. A few years ago, Robert typed a letter to the Governor Patrick listing all the things he could already do. I wanted to follow with my letters expressing, well, bitterness that although Robert grew, the world didn’t grow with him… Since, however, Maria Ellena was coming to discuss Robert’s needs, I postponed writing a letter and delivering it to the Governor’s Office. Instead I talked about Robert for a couple of hours. Robert was mostly on Netflix during that time. Then we went to JCC for a swimming lesson. Robert was a little out of focus, but he listened to all the directions, followed them for a few seconds and then swam in his own mixture of styles. Still, he did at least 12 round trips in the pool. Then we went to Outback. I ordered take out for Robert’s dad who was working later than usual. Robert didn’t like that. He either eats inside, or gets take out, but not both, so he made me understand that he was upset, by producing his noises. Luckily, in a loud restaurant, they sounded rather muffled.
Today, Robert practiced setting espresso machine for me. He had to put half of of a cup of water, and half amount of coffee. Later, we played Trouble. To my surprise, he really liked to do so. He wasn’t impatient. he didn’t want to quit in the middle. I wonder if he played Trouble at any other place. He completed a few worksheets and we were off to Children’s Hospital to see his wonderful allergy doctor.
He was happy all the time, and even more so when he heard that he didn’t have to have a blood test this time. We went to the Food Court again. On a way home, I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk in Arboretum. He wanted.
Arboretum was almost empty except for a person taking picture of silvery bush of pussy willows and dog owners letting their dogs off their leashes. Robert is petrified of dogs. Petrified. I told him yet again, that he should never run from dogs, but stay still next to me. We passed one family with dog. Robert moved slightly behind. I held his hand. It was very tense. The dog was friendly, but seemed to understand Robert’s discomfort and turned away from us. On the way back, a rather large dog run toward us with unspecified intentions. Robert moved behind me and froze. The dog growled not in a very friendly way. I asked the owner, who was far away to call on the dog. He did. Robert relaxed.
Tomorrow? We will plan the day tomorrow together. We have never done that yet. Time to start.

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1 Comment

  1. Noel

     /  March 8, 2014

    Happy Birthday Robert. Wish you all the best as adulthood sets in. A lucky man with hard working family. I have been following this blog in read only mode for quite a while, first time commenting.

    Can not thank you (mom) enough for this blog. Probably, you can not guess, how many hints you have given me that I put in practice with my ~6 YO. Thank you again and hope you will have a great birthday bash tomorrow.


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