Journal, Page 5

Thursday, March 20, 2014
Yesterday, I went to my town’s SEPAC meeting. Today, I drove to OCR (Office of Civil Rights) presentation, organized by Northborough and Hudson SEPACs. Both meetings left me exhausted and bitter, as I realized that nothing really improved in special education in those 19 years, Robert was in it. Maybe it was because I did not file any formal complains. When I look back, I could see 10+ reasons, every year, for serious complains. Including this year. I let most of the issues go. I concentrated on teaching my son, trying to make up for the school’s neglect.
I should have complain. Well, I would if there was only one reason a year to complain. But those other 9 reasons confused me, drained me and kept me overwhelmed most of the time.
I should have complain. It was not just my right, it was my civil obligation to my son and other children with disabilities. I was not afraid of retaliation. I was afraid of being alone and of being wrong. Not so much of loosing, but of winning something nobody else considers important for the children.
Not once, I realized that my ideas about special education are not shared by other parents. That gave me a pause.
I came home tired with a headache, but Robert was in a great mood. He went with Pam for a walk and then to Burger King. He put away dishes, just like I asked him before leaving.
After I unwound, we did 10-20 cards from each of three sets, Do and Does, “ Wh Questions in the Community , and Auditory Memory for Inferences. The cards from the last set presented most challenge because I asked Robert to read the cues, and I had to respond. Except, most of the time I did not understand Robert’s pronunciation. He had to read louder and slower. When I understood the cue and answered, it was my turn to read. When Robert replied correctly, he got a turn. Of course, the questions were very easy and he answered all of them correctly. That meant that he never lost a turn and had to read the cues again. Despite the difficulties he had, he seemed to enjoy that activity.
We did another lesson from saxon Math. There was a lot of adding and subtracting of decimal numbers. I kept leaving Robert alone to perform those operations, but he kept stopping counting as soon as I left. I had to come for almost every problem, just to nod my head when Robert began calculation. Then I left and Robert finished the problem alone, but as he moved to next one he stopped again…
This insecurity, really affects his learning, it shows over-dependency on other people reactions and stops him from trusting himself.
Robert made chicken fingers for the family. For of them, he left for me and his dad, and four of them he ate rather quickly. The fact that he placed the other four in a plastic container and put in the fridge, should be considered today’s achievement. I know, he wanted to eat them too. He didn’t.

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