Second Month at Home

May 7, 2014
Two months and a week passed since Robert finished his education. Hard to asses what Robert learned in April. It is clear that he got more anxious. At least on three occasions in April, he demonstrated increased anxiety during the last hour of each of the programs he attended (in three different settings). Regular Saturday session, a trip to a Car Museum, and chores with his skill instruction. He wanted to go home. It seems like he cannot attend any program for more than 4 hours at this point and that is very concerning. In April, he didn’t have his cooking class. I think that loosing even this program – two hours a week was harder than I anticipated as it added to all the things which suddenly disappeared from his life and were not replaced by anything else. He really liked relaxed atmosphere of the large group of his peers. The young people there were much friendlier than his classmates at school. They were different, but not much different than he was. He felt it, and he felt good about being there. He didn’t talk, but he felt that he belonged to the group. But the program ended.
And so Robert had to add one more item to the list of things that disappeared from his life in just one month – school ended, Erin had a baby, leased car was returned to the dealer, and a cooking class ended.

In April, we did less desk work than usually. We spent 9 days traveling and visiting other places. Robert’s grandma stayed with us for another week so our regular schedules had to be adjusted. Nonetheless, Robert kept doing his usual chores – laundry, dishes, and putting everything in right places. But I did not teach him to do anything new at home. We continued with the same workbooks and the same language related exercises. We did a little more walking because of a nicer weather.
Over all I worked with Robert less. Much less than in March.
I did feel drained. Very drained. And this is something new. Robert and I were in this situation before. He didn’t have school and I taught him at home for weeks and months. But I was younger and Robert had a few more years to learn. Now, I see that there is really no place for Robert. That although Robert learned a lot and grew a lot, the world didn’t grow with him and didn’t create new places that would match Robert’s personality.
I found myself loosing courage and energy.
I have to almost force myself to take Robert to new places.

On the other hand, Robert has been pretty happy, smiling and laughing a lot since Saturday. In the last few days, many things seemed to amuse him and a new kind of spark appeared in his eyes.

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