Before the Trip

October 23, 2014
It was a difficult evening. I started packing for our trip to France and Poland. Robert was taking off some of the clothes from two suitcases. Maybe he doesn’t like them. Maybe he believes they should remain at home. Because I was already stressed with all other arrangements, I had very hard time trying to deal also with Robert’s ideas. There is still so much to do. Moreover, Robert got very bad eczema on his arms and face. I suspect that it was caused by diet ice tea. I bought it a few days ago believing that it would help Robert lose some weight, but I became paranoid and poured half of the bottle out. I feel tired. This blog shouldn’t be about me, but about Robert. Still, I feel exhausted and a little scared. Last three days, Robert was very anxious. I don’t remember when was the last time he was so anxious. He knew about the trip and was pretty excited about it but last few days were different. Maybe because his skin is very itchy. I don’t know. I give him the same medicines.
Oh well, I am scared to travel. I have been scared before. I was scared when we drove to California and back to Massachusetts. I was scared when we flew to California and back. At least now, Jan, Robert’s dad, is coming with us. But, we are going to different countries. I am to some degree afraid of how will Robert react and act, but even more so, how people in those countries will treat Robert. I know, more or less, what to expect in US. I know the range of attitudes that might surround Robert in America. I don’t know those attitudes in European Countries.
Still, not taking Robert was not an option. If he doesn’t travel with us, he won’t travel at all. Nobody else would take him. We are getting older, it would get harder for us to travel.
It is a family thing. I couldn’t keep Robert from visiting his sister in France and the grandparent’s home in Poland. But, I am afraid that this trip might uncover the disconnect between Robert and the world at large. The alienation that here, in the environment carefully constructed around Robert by caring people, has been reduced if not eliminated.

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1 Comment

  1. Jean Palmateer

     /  October 24, 2014

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts as you travel in France and Poland. Based on Robert’s growth this year, and how he has surprised you in positive ways, I believe he’ll do well on the trip. Seeing Amanda, and having you and Jan as supports will make a big difference. Safe travels for all your family.


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