Worries on the Fourth Anniversary

February 28, 2016

I have been writing this blog for four years now.  I started on February 26, 2012.  I thought I had something to share.  I felt, I learned so much about teaching and learning.  After all, I made so many mistakes that it would be hard not to learn at least what was and what continues to be wrong in teaching.  Feeling that I know something worth sharing was an excuse to write and to advertise some of the e-mails on a few e-mail lists.

But the main reason for writing was to beg others, those I don’t even know yet, to take upon themselves the challenge of helping Robert to navigate his life when neither my husband nor I are still there to do so.  As my husband and I are getting older we think more and more about Robert’s future and feel that it might be rather harsh.

It is hard to understand Robert and know what he is able of doing.  He listens to others but he seems not to.  He talks to others but is not understood.

That carries the risk that the people in Robert’s future would put more and more restrains on him.  Who will take him horseback riding?  Who will ski with him?  Who will go on a long, Cape Cod bike trail?  Who will ask him to learn new skills for a new job?  Who will continue to talk to him even when he doesn’t answer?  Who will take him on a trip to another National Park or another city?  Who will know what food would result in an onset of  allergy or in an upset stomach with severe pains?  Who will be attuned to him well enough to understand that he has a full range of emotions and longings?

In many of the posts written on this blog I tried to present the fuller picture of Robert.  I longed for  somebody to respond with healthy curiosity and deep empathy.

I have mostly failed.


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  1. Yolanda Roy

     /  February 29, 2016

    I have saved every blog since March of 2013 therefore I have followed each victory, crossed my fingers with each attempt, and understood each failure. This is the first time I have felt compelled to leave a reply. Please go to Facebook, look for a group named “Where do we go?” and see if this can be of some assistance.

  2. Jean Palmateer

     /  March 1, 2016

    You have helped others, and can not claim failure. Who knows the spark you may have set in another parent/families heart?

  3. Claudia Rosenfield

     /  March 4, 2016

    Hi Maria. I want you to know that I love reading your blogs. You are such an intelligent woman with great insight into Robert’s behavior and needs and I’m sure you have helped many others understand their own children and students. You write with such heart. It makes me feel that I can continue to enjoy knowing Robert, even though we no longer see each other regularly.

  4. Michael McDermott

     /  March 5, 2016

    I still check in from time to time…to see what’s going on in Roberts life. Your commitment to Robert and providing him with opportunities to experience life’s challenges, thrills and adventures is so far from failure.


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