My Not Everyday Joys

February 22, 2019

Goggles

The weather was cold and windy. The ski instructor gave Robert goggles to protect his eyes. Robert hesitated but then he put them on.  He has never done that before.  His instructors and we, his parents, tried to persuade him many times to wear goggles, but Robert presented strong resistance. Now, he put them on after a few seconds of hesitation.  It was surprisingly easy to convince him to wear the goggles. He probably deduced that since he forgot his regular glasses, it was only natural that he should wear goggles as a replacement.  The fact, that since that day, he purposefully kept his glasses home while going skiing supports this implication.

Doggie Bag

Robert always protested taking any left over food from the restaurant. When we suggested that he didn’t have to finish his dish since he was obviously full, he responded by eating even faster and placing large pieces of his food in his mouth. Not that he WANTED to eat more, but he COULDN’T leave anything on a plate.  Moreover, he protested whenever either his father or I wanted to take our food home.  We developed a system of avoiding Robert’s loud, vehement protests.  Robert and his father would leave restaurant first while I would stay longer to ask for box or boxes and pack the leftovers.

This winter, however, I finally dealt with the problem. As we were driving to the restaurant I kept telling Robert that he doesn’t have to eat everything. That he will eat only part of the ordered food in the restaurant and the other part we will take home, so he could eat it later when he gets hungry again.  I repeated the same thing when we were waiting for our dishes. Robert not only agreed but before leaving, placed his own leftovers in a box and took it to the car.

Dentist Visit

I picked up Robert from his program and we drove straight to the dentist for cleaning and check up. The dental hygienist came to the waiting room to call on Robert.  Almost automatically, I moved too.  The hygienist asked if I wanted to accompany Robert.  But she asked as if my presence was not obvious. And it hit me.  It shouldn’t be obvious because Robert could manage without me.  My presence only clouded the interaction between the hygienist and Robert.  Robert would expect me to give him directions and the hygienist would also expect my support if Robert didn’t follow immediately her request.  Thus instead of her repeating the words to make her demand clearer, she would turn to me to do the same. That is confusing to everybody. So I chose to remain in the waiting room while Robert had his teeth cleaned. It felt great!

Park in Winter

Robert wanted to go for a walk so we drove to Stony Brook. As soon as we got to the place where the trail begins, I realized that it was indeed winter. The trail was covered with all forms of wintery water.  There was slushy snow, there was snow covered with thin layer of ice, there was fluffy snow, and there was uneven ice that probably melted and froze again a few times.  I wasn’t ready for walk on such surface as I do have a tendency to fall even on flat surfaces. But Robert set his mind on walk and walk he did. I followed him with uneasy steps. A few times I called on Robert to help me conquer a few slippery spots. He always returned and led me for a few steps, then he went ahead again.  I called him again and again and again. Well, I really didn’t need his help, but I wanted him to understand that this walk although easy for him might be challenging to me. That would also make it easier for him to change his walking habits. Nonetheless, I also wanted him to be prepared for a variation to his walking routine.   “Robert, we would walk only to the water and we would come back the same way.  We would not go around.”  I kept repeating afraid that Robert, who always insist on doing things the same way, would have a hard time accepting changes to his walking routine.

Well, he did hesitated and made a few steps farther, but then he turned back and walked with me to the parking lot.

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